The Rain is Gone

I'm going to be completely honest.  Over the last 1 month and 1 week of sobriety, my eyes have been opened to a lot of ugliness, mostly my own.

Although I would NEVER abuse or purposely mistreat my daughter in ANY way, shape or form, I realize now just how much a priority partying was in my life.  Over the last month, I've had this overwhelming desire to BE A MOM to my daughter, something I haven't felt since her first few years of life.  I didn't realize that I hadn't been feeling this, but now that I'm experiencing it...it's really put into perspective just what alcohol does to people.

That neverending quest to numb myself succeeded in ways I never intended.  I never intended to prioritze partying over my daughter, but that happened.  I'm not proud of this, but I'm glad that I realize it now.  Being my daughter's mom is by far the very best opportunity I've ever been given, and I've let so many years blur & whiz by while I drank myself into oblivion, all the while thinking that it wasn't affecting her negatively, I was still able to be what she needed right?  Wrong.  Sooo very wrong and deluded.  I won't waste any more time - I can see clearly now.

Keep your fingers crossed for me - I have a final interview tomorrow for the company I interviewed with on Thursday.  Hopefully I'll have some good news tomorrow night!  :)